Proverbs 23

 Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.

~Proverbs 23:9 

Speak not means "don't speak." When we attempt to teach or speak to someone who demonstrates the marks of a fool, we become a fool. No matter how much we may want the person to understand or how wise the words may be, God tells us don't speak to him because he will despise the wisdom of the words. Words are wasted on his ears because a fool blocks himself from being open to counsel. Here's a few practical lessons we can apply. 

• Have discerning conversations. We need to assess when speaking to another if that person is open to truth or correction. We can want good change for a person all we want, but if he doesn't want to change himself if won't happen. It's unwise to try to continue educating that person.
• Use time wisely. Trying to engage with a fool wastes time and energy. Also, having a discussion with someone who rejects wisdom can be emotionally and spiritually draining. Often, it's more prudent to walk away. 
• Keep peace by building up people who are willing to hear. It's best to avoid unproductive debates, whether in person or online. 

What takeaways do you see from this chapter that you can apply? 

Proverbs 22

 Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set. 

~Proverbs 22:28

Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless: for their Redeemer is mighty; he shall plead their cause with thee.

~Proverbs 23:10-11

These verses stick out to me as I've read Proverbs a few times now. The ancient landmark is interesting. It refers to the boundary stones that marked property lines which were critical to maintaining justice and order, as God had assigned land and inheritances to each tribe. The phrase "which thy fathers have set" connects the command to heritage, legacy, and generational respect.

In this imperative to not remove the old landmarks which the fathers have set, there are some takeaways for us. 

1. Respect what is rightfully others and don't exploit or take what doesn't belong to you, whether that's property, ideas, opportunities, etc.

2. Honor the God-given order of things. Not all "old ways" are old-fashioned or outdated. Some traditions that are rooted in God's wisdom and moral law are worth preserving. But also, don't exalt traditions over God's word.

3. Build instead of undermine. Uphold and defend godly principles and values that promote equity and respect. Don't shift boundaries for selfish purposes. 

Chapter 23:10 goes on to warn against exploiting the vulnerable. The fatherless (orphans) often had/have no protector or advocate. Mistreating the fatherless brings about God's wrath, as he is their defender. He deeply cares about them and gives instruction for his people to care and be personally involved as well. 

There are some applications for us from this verse as well. 

1. Don't take advantage of the weak. Just because someone can't fight back doesn't mean we have the right to take from them. God sees and will judge. 

2. Practice integrity. In leadership, family, business, etc. strength must be used to protect, not hurt or plunder.

3. Be a voice for the voiceless. Reflect God's heart by defending them.

Deuteronomy 19:14 

“Thou shalt not remove thy neighbour’s landmark, which they of old time have set...”

 

Job 24:2  “Some remove the landmarks; they violently take away flocks, and feed thereof.”   Here we see people plunder what's not theirs and dishonoring God's commands. 

  Monuments song

Here's a great song about setting up monuments. We need to be careful to set up monuments for those coming after. They don't need to be literal stones, but certain practices, environments, and our legacies can point children and others toward God's presence. Other stones can also be stories of God's faithfulness. 

⛪ Deuteronomy 6:6–7 
"And these words… thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children..."

Psalm 78:4
"We will not hide them from their children... showing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord..."

Children remember how parents lived far more than what they said. Spiritual legacy lasts through generations. How many times have you heard someone say he had a devoted, goldy grandmother or mother that followed God 100%? The person doesn't always remember what she said but he remembers her life.

Keep up the work to build those monuments. 

Proverbs 21

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. 

~vs. 9

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. 

~vs. 19

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. 

~vs. 23 

The first 2 verses use comparative wisdom: the physically uncomfortable and the domestically intolerable.  Let's look at the escalation and consequences. 

Verse 9: The tension forces someone to retreat to the corner of the roof. 

Verse 19: Situation escalates - now the person prefers complete isolation in the wilderness.

Verse 23: The escalation could've been avoided with speech discipline. Restraint in words shows wisdom and can bring peace.

A brawling person is someone who is quarrelsome, nagging, or habitually combative - someone who constantly stirs strife. A contentious spirit often manifests through the tongue. Verse 23 shows that controlling the tongue is key to preserving peace with others and also within one's soul. Both these verses mention a woman, but it can apply to a man as well. 

Vs. 9 talks about a corner of the housetop - in Hebrew homes, roofs were flat and used for various activities. The corner would be the most uncomfortably remote spot. Living there symbolizes isolation and hardship, but that's still preferable to conflict.  A wide house implies a spacious house, but the point remains that physical comfort does not compensate for emotional or relational turmoil.

Vs. 19 then regresses to the wilderness. This is a place of harsh, lonely conditions. But once again, this is better than enduring relational toxicity. If you've ever lived with a woman or man who constantly stirs up strife, you know it's very draining and not fun in the least. 

Let's look at the practical applications these verses offer us for our lives.

1. Peace is more valuable than material luxury or social appearance. A simple, peaceful life is worth way more than a strife-filled affluent life. This reminds me of the men who think it's enough to just provide their wives with money, a big house, nice things, etc. but never show up emotionally or physically. Then they get mad and wonder why their wives are upset. Wealth does not = domestic or internal peace. 
2. These verses emphasize the importance of character and emotional and spiritual maturity. For both husbands and wives, each one's temperament at home has a lasting effect.  Married people need to take the challenge to cultivate gentleness, patience, and self-control so they can work toward peace - not control.   Single people need to seriously consider the emotional and spiritual maturity of a potential spouse. If a person doesn't have self-control with his mouth, better not to marry. Better to stay single than to be married and wish you were {single}. Verse 23 provides the preventative wisdom we need: it's easier to guard the tongue than to fix a broken home. 

If we want to avoid the breakdown of relationship, you and I must start with self-governance at the heart and mouth level. If you get angry quickly or are so prideful you won't listen to others, check your heart. What's in the heart comes out through actions and words and words oftentimes can destroy a home.  The home is either a haven or a battlefield - and your tongue often decides what it'll be. 

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 

~Proverbs 15:1

Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth. 

~James 3:5

May Memories

 How was your May, friend? 

For me, it left an abundance of fun, good memories. Here's some photos to document.

The formation of the clouds and the beauty of the skies each day amaze me.

My little friend Carter picked these dew-soaked flowers one morning. My heart. He's a sweet, tender-hearted little kid. 

He cracks me up. Not only does he randomly pause on our walks by laying on the sidewalk, but he also takes breaks like this when playing at the playground. 

We're huge into playing Monopoly, if you didn't know. 😂In this space version of the game, I ended up with almost all the properties.

We also have the funniest, most random conversations. One time we were driving to the pool and before we left, I told them to sit correctly in their seats. Well, we rounded a sharp corner.  Carter: "Woah Ashley, you made a sharp turn and I almost fell into Noah."

 Me: "Who's fault is that?"

Carter: "Yours."

Me: "Actually it's your fault because you weren't sitting right."

Noah: "Ooooooh, you got roasted by a girl. I didn't know girls could roast boys. I know boys roast girls, but they don't do it back. You got burned." 😂

Carter complained Noah was making fun of him, but I couldn't help but laugh with Noah. Clearly, he has a lot of experience in roasting people at school and the whole thing was just hilarious. 

Visited the jail twice again. A small group came the first time and one lady the second time. It was truly a God-appointment though. Having gone multiple times and getting to hear these women's hearts makes me all the more grateful for God's salvation. He is in the business of putting humpty dumpties back together again. Some of the women are more broken than others. Some have experienced so much trauma it breaks the heart to hear - and even in these stories God is working. For some of them, going to jail is a wake-up call and for some it's what God's using to get their attention. One thing I've noticed since starting in women's jail ministry is that you can give a person all the literature, Bible verses, advice, and books, but if she doesn't know Jesus, she won't be any better. For example, when my friend and I met with the one lady, she talked and talked about her life, the pain, trauma, and heartache she's endured. We listened with our hearts and tried to enter into her pain. At the end, what I heard her saying was that she didn't have peace. No inner peace and definitely no outer peace. So, I told her about a man called Jesus and that through him we can have peace with God the Father. The problem of the heart can't be fixed until the heart of the problem is solved first.

Random beautiful flowers from walks

Little kids melt my heart to pieces, especially when they use me as a foot stool. 😂

Saw this cute mug at the international market.

Eating great food with great people probably makes up about half of the month. lol

Vietnamese Banh mi dac biet sandwich- rich in flavors and a Vietnamese staple. 

My sister friend made us Vietnamese noodles and dumplings for lunch one Sunday. The noodle experience was 10/10, complete with all the toppings, just like you'd find in a restaurant. :)

Tried this Japanese pickled daikon radish for the first time. One word: interesting. 😅You'll have to eat it for yourself to form an opinion. It cleanses the palate, so if you're eating something spicy, then you eat this, you'll be able to taste other flavors.

Each Chashu bun is enhanced with eel sauce, Japanese mayo, and Yum Yum sauce to give it a unique and highly flavorful taste, uncommon in many American dishes. If you have the chance to try these, definitely would recommend it. :) 

Sister friend and I ate Vietnamese food again and this time at a restaurant. Honestly the flavor of this soup lacked a little (not as good as her homemade one lol), but we still enjoyed it. To correctly eat this kind of dish, you have one bowl of the soup/noodle, and then other plates with all the toppings. You can put however little or however much toppings into your soup according to your taste. 

How I love these dear, special sister friends. 💜

My housemate's outside cat posed for a picture. 

On Memorial Day, 2 kids and I spent almost the whole day at a riverside festival. 

May we never forget the sacrifice. 

How I love to see Old Glory flying high. By the way, did you know the nickname 'Old Glory' for the flag was coined by William Driver in 1831? He prized it and hid it from the Confederates during the American Civil War.

Pictures by the riverside. As I was taking them, Carter stuck his face in front of the camera. 

At this festival, there was a water bounce house area....and a giant soap pile. Hence why we spent the whole day there. lol. 

One kid exclaimed, "this is a disaster!" Indeed, it was. But a very fun one for all the kids. 

Now that's a warp. I'd love for you to reply and let me know what fun things came with May for you! 

Have It Your Way

  A couple months ago a group of older people and I gathered weekly to study the books of Judges, Ruth, and 1 Samuel. One major part stuck out to me and has lingered in my mind since finishing the study. It's very sad but yet it teaches us a valuable lesson and gives us a glimpse of the heart of God. This is a little longer passage but read it and notice what's going on. The context is that Samuel's years of judging concluded. and he appointed his sons as judges. However, when they perverted judgment and made wicked choices, Israel decided they needed a king. 

1 Samuel 8:6-19

But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, Give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto the LORD. And the LORD said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them, according to all the works which they have done since the day that I brought them up out of Egypt even unto this day; wherewith they have forsaken me and served other gods, so do they also unto thee. Now therefore hearken unto their voice: howbeit yet protest solemnly unto them, and shew them the manner of the king that shall reign over them. And Samuel told all the words of the LORD unto the people that asked of him a king. And he said, This will be the manner of the king that shall reign over you: he will take your sons and appoint them for himself, for his chariots and to be his horsemen; and some shall run before his chariots. And he will appoint him captains over thousands, and captains over fifties; and will set them to ear his ground, and to reap his harvest, and to make his instruments of war and instruments of his chariots. And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers. And he will take your fields, and your vineyards, and your oliveyards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants. And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyard, and give to his officers, and to his servants. And he will take your menservants and your maidservants and your goodliest young men and your asses and put them to his work. He will take the tenth of your sheep: and ye shall be his servants. And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen you; and the Lord will not hear you in that day. Nevertheless, the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay, but we will have a king over us.

Israel's asking for a king displeased God because they were rejecting him as their ruler. But even though they were mistaken in this request, God still says, "go ahead, have it your way." Then he tells Samuel to warn the people about the consequences, and Samuel gives a whole long list of negatives. Red flags. Notice how many times Samuel says "he will take..." There's not one positive in list. And how shocking that at the end, Israel's response is still: "Nay, but we will have a king over us."

God's response of "...the Lord will not hear you in that day" to the people's cry reminds me of wisdom in Proverbs 1. She says, "I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded. . . I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh. When your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you, then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me" (1:24,26-28). 

 Because of God's foreknowledge he knew what was going to happen and that Israel would end up regretting their choice. But God didn't stop them. He didn't force them to keep a theocracy with him as their ruler. God created mankind as individual people with the ability to think independently - not as robots who emotionlessly obey the commands programmed into them.  God loved Israel but he let them choose their own path because love does not demand. As children of God, God leaves room for choice; He doesn't impose love on us. He desires our love but never forces our hearts. Instead, he seeks a willing heart that freely loves him unreservedly. 

 I've been thinking about this passage a lot and realized that even today, there are situations where God still sadly says to his people, "fine, have it your way." It's said, not in an anger-filled, slamming-of-the door kind of way. Instead, it's spoken out of a broken, pained, full-of-love heart that the people won't hear. Because we aren't robots, we can make either foolish or wise choices. Someone might say, "well if this was a bad decision God would stop it." But this is a wrong view of God because he is not like a genie who will just appear to grant our desires or stop something bad. No, instead he will place a whole list of negatives in front of us. He'll place other people in our lives who will say, "WATCH OUT!" "DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AS I." "BE PATIENT."  He'll show us red flags. 🚩And it's our choice to either take heed and proceed cautiously or ignore every one of the negatives and still insist on our own way. If we choose to follow our own desires rather than God's will, he will say, "go ahead, have it your way." Then we'd better be prepared to deal with the negative consequences that come along and take responsibility because it's not God's fault when pain, brokenness, death, and hurt ensue. It's our own fault because we choose that way. For example, if we choose to reject God's salvation, we'll deal with the consequence of hell. It's 100% a person's fault if he ends up in that place - not God's.  Choosing our own path is not peaceful. Just look at Isarel. They were in constant battle with the enemies, millions of people died throughout the Old Testament from battles, and God had to send judgement several times as a result of their choice in wanting a king. Proverbs says, "[Widsom's] ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace (3:17)." 

Decisions shouldn't be made out of impatience, desperation, or fleshly desires. Matters need to be taken to God in earnest, sincere prayer with a heart ready to hear what God's thoughts are on the matter. When Samuel talked to Israel, their hearts were already pretty set on having a king. Even after the list of negatives, they didn't go think about what Samuel had said, nor did they go seek the Lord with open hearts, willing to change their ways or thinking. This demonstrates a non-teachable spirit. Unfortunately, we as Christians can have this same attitude if we're not vigilant and constantly asking God to search our hearts. If we were really teachable, we'd be willing to take criticism and rebuke when we're wrong and willing to change. Hard pieces of clay are useless. That's just the way Satan desires Christians to be though. If he can't keep you from trusting in Christ for salvation and becoming a Christian, he'll do his best to keep you un-moldable and ineffective for God. But we each must be on God's train rather than expecting him to be on ours. 

May each of us follow God closely so we don't have to hear those sad words of "have it your way."