Proverbs 26

As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

 ~ Proverbs 26:21     

When you add coals to burning coals, the fire continues and grows. This analogy provides a vivid picture. Contentious people have mastered starting fires, and they'll often try to do or say something just to ignite a reaction from the other person. This adds hot coal on top of hot coal. They fuel the fire on purpose. They focus on being right. 

But how much is winning an argument/discussion worth to you? Is it worth losing a relationship? 

Contention like this alienates others and the contentious person earns a reputation as someone who is known for stirring up strife. God can absolutely change this hostile spirit in us if we humbly confess our sin and yield to God. The change happens by the renewing of our minds daily. How do we renew our minds? By remembering what God says. How do we remember what God says? By being in communication with him and in the Word every day. Prov. 26:21 offers a warning to stay clear of contentious people, observation, and an implication to not be a contentious person. Look at what else Proverbs says about this issue.

"He that passeth by and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears." ~ Proverbs 26:17

"The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore, leave off contention before it be meddled with." ~ Proverbs 17:14

"It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling." ~ Proverbs 20:3

When a person acts contentious, you can be sure he is filled with pride because Prov. 13:10 states that "only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom."