Proverbs 31

 Proverbs 31 is such an interesting chapter. Many focus on verses 10-31 in which we are introduced to the woman of valor. Before we get there though, let's see what verses 1-9 teach us. It's instruction from a mother to her son who's in a place of power. He's a king. She advises him to do 3 things: 

~ avoid destructive indulgence (vs. 3 "Give not thy strength unto women...")

 ~ avoid drunkenness (vs. 4-7 "It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgement of any of the afflicted. Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.") 

Kings need clarity and focus.

~ defend the voiceless and uphold justice (vs. 8-9 "Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy." 

Then it transitions into talking about this woman of valor who embodies the wisdom 

 Lemuel needed to learn. This woman models what strong leadership looks like. (And don't you just love that God used a woman to show this? 😊)

 "Virtuous" means strength, ability, moral courage. This is the opposite of passive and decorative. It's active and powerful in influence and example. Maybe Lemuel's mother contrasts the women in vs. 3 who would tempt him with this virtuous woman who she describes as a woman of substance and strength. 

In vs. 8-9 Lemuel is told to use his voice for others, and the virtuous woman demonstrates this by using her influence in business, the household, community, and in relationships for good. Influence always doesn't come from a throne - sometimes it comes from a home -- or a workplace, wherever you find your sphere of influence. 

Now we come to vs. 10-31. 

This is not a to-do list for Christian women to measure themselves by, a weapon for legalism or pressure, or a statement that every woman must marry, have kids, or be domestic to be valuable. (In fact, I see this as abusing Scripture because certain verses are taken out of context to "prove" this view, but every woman will clearly not get married.)

Instead, it shows us wisdom and godliness, needed by both women and men. The qualities this chapter praises - wisdom, faithfulness, diligence, generosity, stewardship, fear of the Lord, compassion - are virtues for all believers. 

This passage honors a woman who uses what she has - skills, time, strength - for God's glory and others' good. Christian women express this virtuous life in business, ministry, parenting, singleness, education, the arts, caregiving, entrepreneurship, etc. All these things happen over a lifetime - not in one day. 

Furthermore, this passage reframes identity. "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." God doesn't praise the outward - he honors the heart that reveres him. In a society that pressures and stereotypes women like nothing else, this is incredibly freeing. We should reject the shallow cultural standards and esteem women (and men) for faith, integrity, and love. Women should be honored and affirmed in their work, but instead most of the time they're put down, pressured, and seen as second rate. Yet society still holds them to a high standard while turning a blind eye to men. If women are expected to have these traits, men absolutely should be held to the same. If not, this is a disgusting double standard. A heart that fears the Lord is much more valuable than the shade of someone's skin color or how "beautiful" a person is compared to someone else. More time needs to be spent making the heart right than worrying about covering up blemishes on a face or "appearing" right to others.

In Bible times culture, men degraded women, used, abused, rated them as second-class, and viewed them as evil because of Eve's sin in the garden. Sadly and unfortunately, those same traits are widespread today. Even though women have the same rights of men [in America], they're still degraded, put-down, stepped on, and rated lower than men. Society bases a women's value on marriage/family. However, the traits displayed by the woman of valor apply to a married woman, single woman, married man, or single man. 

The woman of valor's internal strength gives her confidence in the future. "Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come." (vs. 25) She doesn't live in fear, even in uncertain times. Friend, your strength comes from God and your walk with him - not from social approval, not from outer beauty, not from social media, not from your performance to others. Reverence for God shapes your life. Someone who is worthy of praise has a heart oriented toward God. 

Next time you hear a preacher or anyone use this chapter out of context to support the idea that a woman's goal in life is marriage, taking care of a home, and achieving all the things that are displayed in the chapter, remember that this is a portrait of noble character. And holiness is not gendered. God commands all Christians to be holy. Your life, whether you work as a king (like Lemuel), businesswoman/man, entrepreneur, wife, mom, blue collar worker, teacher, missionary, government employee, can radiate influence, power, kindness, and eternal value when lived in the fear of God. 

But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation because it is written: Be ye holy, for I am holy.

~ 1 Peter 1:15-16