The Lost Trait of RESPECT

Something dawned on me recently. 

People teach kids to have respect. They teach them to respect others, respect their bodies, respect people's stuff, respect the earth, etc. 

Respect means being kind to others even if/when they like different things or have different ideas or dreams. 

Somehow many adults seem to have forgotten this concept. And what's worse are Christians who can't even respect other Christians. 

We do not have all the same beliefs. We do not all share the same dreams. We do not all possess the same abilities and talents. And this is okay because God made us to be so. He created diversity in the universe, in the plant kingdom, in the animal kingdom, and in humans. 

So when someone else has a different idea or belief about something, listening is the wisest action. But I have learned that a lot of people cannot and will not listen to someone else who believes differently, no matter what the topic is. They have ears but not to hear. They have a heart, but it remains closed. In short, they do not respect. This is to their own detriment. Maybe they will lose a relationship. Maybe they'll lose the chance to share Jesus with the person. Maybe they'll lose respect from the other person. But they will definitely lose the opportunity to grow. To learn. To show empathy. 

To illustrate respect, I have a few pictures from Elephant and Piggy book.  

Piggy has a dream. An idea. Piggy decides he will fly. 

Elephant has 2 choices: either to encourage and try to help Piggy's dream come true or discourage and belittle Piggy so he will give up the idea. 

Elephant chose to speak some harsh words. 

Side note: Be careful when you use the words "always" and "never." When spoken to a person, "you always do...." or "you never...", they are blaming/accusatory words that eventually erode trust and build walls. 

Later in the story kind duck acknowledges Piggy's dream when he listens to what Piggy says. And he gives an offer to help. He showed support and that is what Piggy needed. He didn't need a lecture from elephant about how he cannot fly. He needed someone to come along side and say, "I will help you." 

And because of duck's kind heart, Piggy ended up flying. He couldn't accomplish his dream on his own. He needed a helping hand. Someone who respected his idea and was willing to lift him up.

Many women have told me, "I wish I could have done...." and they insert a dream they had. 

Why didn't they chase it? 

Lack of respect. 

When women encounter setbacks, we naturally tend to shut down, question ourselves, wonder if it was even a good idea to begin with, give up, maybe try later, or maybe not. Men, on the other hand, push through, climb over the obstacles, find a way. We're made differently. 

I see it in the boys and girls at school. Girls will give up. Teachers have to give encouragement. "Keep going! You can do it! Go this way! Come on!"  However, the boys will finish with little to no encouragement. 😄

So when I hear a woman say, "I always wanted to do...," I feel so sad for her because she probably had parents or authority figures in her life who did not show respect. And if she was strong enough to push through despite the negativity, perhaps there was another kind person that spoke some simple words. "I believe in you." "You can do it." "I will help you." "Don't give up." 

Respect is not just a concept for children to learn. Adults need to be taught it too. 

Like I said before, this generation can change. The world can change. The lost trait of respect can come back. And it starts with one person. One family. 

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction." ~ Proverbs 1:7